Right person wrong time

Have you ever met an epitome of what real love is, it was too good to be true. I met someone when I’ve blocked all doors of love. I had declared my life is a no man’s land. Then heavens decided to test my heart again. I was firm and told the guy I don’t want it and I’ll probably hurt him. Fast forward I come to actually like him tho with a doubt ( heartbreaks in Nairobi, mniwache) we didn’t even date it was a talking stage , so I just called it quits not because I hated the guy but the idea of relationship and being hurt couldn’t leave my mind. Eventually I sabotaged it . I was hurt he was more hurt but I guess before anyone finds love , they have to find peace.